• Jerry Starling

  • Search by Category

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 554 other followers

  • Pages

  • Blog Stats

    • 425,360 hits
  • Recent Posts

  • Recent Comments

    Kevin on QUESTION: Who Was Pharaoh Duri…
    Jerry Starling on QUESTION: Where Does the Bible…
    Lenin Dorsey on QUESTION: Where Does the Bible…
    Matthews Bantsijang on SERMON: How to Stand Firm
    Abraham Uke on QUESTION: What Sin Does Not Le…
  • Top Posts

  • November 2009
    S M T W T F S
    « Oct   Dec »
    1234567
    891011121314
    15161718192021
    22232425262728
    2930  
  • Archives

QUESTION: I’m in an Unhappy Marriage of Convenience. May I Divorce My Husband?


Red Question MarkI married my husband years ago to get away from an abusive mother. I am a Christian and I want to be clear on divorce, because I have never loved my husband as a husband. I love him as a friend would love a friend. I want to get a divorce and go on in life to be happy. He does not talk with me, nor does he ever show any affection toward me. He is 11 years older than I am. Our marriage is not really a marriage. It is only two people living under one roof. Could I ever divorce and remarry? If I cannot, is it wrong if I divorce and have a man in my life and have no sexual relationship with him? I stay depressed take medicine for it. My nerves stay torn 24/7 because I am so unhappy. Please pray for me and try to answer these questions.

[I received this question anonymously via The Question Box at http://www.Plymouth-church.com where I answer the questions.]

Your questions show a lot of frustration and pain, with which I can sympathize. When you go into marriage for the wrong reasons or in youthful haste, it is easy to exchange one bad situation for a different one. You, unfortunately, have found that on your own. Now you are seeking a way out of the mess (as you describe it to me above) in which you find yourself.

I am curious as to how long you have been in this marriage. It would not make a substantive difference in the answer, but I would be interested to know that. You mentioned your husband is eleven years older than you are, but give no indication of how old either of you is. Have you been married for many years, building up this frustration? Have you only been married a relatively short time, and now (since you are ‘free’ from your ‘abusive mother’) are ready to “go on in life to be happy.”

I wonder what effort you have made to make your marriage a happy one. You say your husband ‘does not talk with me, nor does he ever show any affection toward me.’ How much affection have you shown toward him? If you came from an unaffectionate home life, it is entirely possible you will need to learn how to show affection toward your husband. Most of us learn such things from our parents. If the parents are not capable of showing affection (as yours likely are not, since you say your mother was abusive), we have to learn affection elsewhere. In Titus 2:4, the apostle Paul talks to Titus about teaching the older women to “train the younger women to love their husbands and children.” The Greek word used for love here is a word that speaks of affection. Perhaps you can find an older Christian woman who will be able to help you learn to be affectionate toward your husband.

To help you see the difference affection can make in a marriage, may I recommend a movie, Fireproof? This film shows Christian principles in a modern setting where a couple had actual hostility, not mere indifference to each other. When he began to show affection toward his wife, it took time, but she began to change because he had first changed himself. He did this under the guidance of his father. Yes, this is ‘just a story.’ Yet, it powerfully presents the Christian principles that should guide marriage. You can find this movie on DVD at most any Christian bookstore or order it online from www.cbd.com.

I also wonder if you will be happy if you do divorce and go on. Do you expect to ‘find’ happiness if you just try enough different situations? True happiness comes from within you – not from finding the perfect situation or the perfect person. You can never find happiness from another person if you do not find it first within yourself. It is in your relationship to God that you find real happiness. That is where you need to begin.

You want to know if you can get a divorce, marry someone else, and still please God. I think you already know the answer to that. In Malachi 2:16 God says directly, “I hate divorce.” Note that He did not say He hates the divorced person. In fact, it is because of what divorce customarily does to the people God loves that He hates it. He hates divorce as you would hate salmonella added to your Christmas dinner. It destroys people, even when they think it is the answer to their problems.

Can a divorced person ever be happy? Nothing is too hard for our God – but He certainly does not tell us divorce will make us happy. If we become happy afterward, it will be in spite of the divorce, not because of it.

I realize I have not told you what you wanted to hear. I believe, however, I have told you what you need to hear. For some reason you, like many others, did not get your “growing up” done during your “growing up years.” Start now to learn how to love your husband. See if that will not help him to “warm up” to you as well. It could well be that he is as unhappy as you are – and that he simply does not know what to do about it (or that you have rebuffed his efforts, feeble as they may have been).

Do not despair. God is gracious, and His grace working in you can change your heart and the heart of your husband as well. This is the surest way to find contentment in your life.

Advertisements

8 Responses

  1. I received the following from a person who shall remain anonymous.

    I am female, 33 years old. I was wondering if marriage of convenience is a sin, providing the two heterosexual parties agree to enter the marriage with no intention of getting a divorce, and no intention to have any sexual relationship with each other or with other people. Basically it is a marriage between two friends, but not done out of love, just to make respective parents happy that their son/daughter are married already. It is done to get the “when are you going to get married?” issue out of the way, and after that they can just “get on with their lives”.

    I am aware that if I were to do this, I personally do not plan to have any sexual relationship with the friend or with any other man (I am still a virgin), however it will be selfish of me because then my partner will likely to commit adultery. My reason for considering this is by no means am I a lesbian, just that it has been five years since my only relationship ended, and although I know I am not still thinking about the ex, I just have not been able to be in another relationship since for many reasons. I am beginning to wonder if maybe the problem is not with the men I’ve gotten to know, but with me. I feel like I’m probably incapable of a real relationship anyway, so might as well.

    Following is the response I made to her:

    Dear Miss ______,

    Thank you for your response to me with your question.

    Sexual relations is not everything there is in marriage. I know couples who have, by mutual consent, lived together happily for years without having sex.

    It is, however, one of the lynch-pins that holds a marriage together. And Paul does say, “to avoid sexual immorality, every man should have his own wife and every woman should have her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7). He allows abstinence “for a season,” but not as a permanent arrangement. Exceptional circumstances might alter that somewhat (e.g., one or the other is physically unable to have intercourse).

    In your comment, you acknowledge that what you propose is selfish of you and that it would put your partner in danger of committing adultery. Is it worth doing that to a man whom you respect highly just to get your parents off your back?

    If you marry under these conditions, the parents will not be off your back. They will soon begin to ask, “When are you going to have children?” You must realize that is their real goal. Their desire for grandchildren is likely greater than their desire for a son-in-law, except to be a father to the grandchildren.

    There is something else you need to consider as well. While you state you have no desire for an intimate relationship, you have no way of knowing what the future holds. I have a friend whose wife of 49 years died. He did not think he would ever want to enter a new relationship with a woman – but God had other plans. A widow who had the same idea he did on the opposite side of the world and he met through a series of circumstances – and they are now married. You may think now that you do not want a genuine marriage, but you do not know what God has in store for your future.

    For these three reasons (The possibility of causing your partner to sin, the fact that you will not really get your parents off your back, and the fact you do not know what God may have in store for your future), I believe it would be very unwise to do as you suggest. In fact, when I consider the purpose of marriage and the strongly sexual component of God’s intent for marriage, I would strongly discourage what you propose. I do not know that I would call it “sin” – but I would be tempted to call it that.

    Another possibility could occur as well. You and the man might actually come to desire intimacy with each other – but if you have forsworn it, how would you communicate that to each other? Each of you might have the desire for intimacy, but be unable to speak of it because you entered the marriage with an understanding there would be no intimacy. Then you both might be miserable while each of you wanted the same thing but did not know how to let the other know without appearing to go back on your word!

    You need to think long and hard before entering a marriage under those circumstances – and remember to pray a lot as well!

    Respectfully yours,

    Jerry

  2. I heard directly again from the above correspondent. Here is her latest missive:

    Thank you for your speedy and thorough response. The whole time I was writing my first email I knew in my heart that marriage of convenience is “wrong”. The first thing I wondered about was the manner one enters the marriage itself, as it is supposed to be sacred, but I’m contemplating to disgrace that sacred institution by marrying for other purpose than love. I thought I could somewhat justify myself by refraining from adultery and to never get divorced, very much like real good marriages are supposed to be, minus the romantic love. Would you say that that would be the first “sin” I will commit to marry for those reasons? What does the Bible say about why one should marry, apart from preventing adultery?

    My second concern was about putting my partner in danger of adultery. It is true, there is no way I can live peacefully knowing he wouldn’t have had to do that had he married someone he really loves. But I do think that if ever, while being married, my friend and I fall in love, then we can make it a real one, we are married already anyway, and we didn’t just pick someone from the street to marry.

    As for children, I was thinking as long as my friend and I agree from the start that we will not have children, then we would assume our parents will be fine with our decision. For me at least, my parents have seven grandchildren already from my siblings, so my having children will not be their main concern. Right now they just feel that their work on earth is not done because I’m still single at this age, when it is really beyond their control. And they never pressure me, it’s my own guilt, I feel I have let them down, especially my mom who has so much love for me, that I just want to make her happy.

    And finally, thank you for reminding me that God has plans for each of us. Although it is hard to understand what it could be, having waited five years so far, sometimes I forget that He always cares for me, it’s just not time yet. I do think about it sometimes, what will happen when I marry the friend, then I meet the one I really want to marry, because I was too impatient to wait for God’s time? But I don’t know how much longer I should wait, or if I should wait even if that man comes along when I’m 40. Again, I want my parents to be there for my wedding, and they are in their 60’s now. I’m scared of not having either of them at my wedding, I’m scared of the painful regret I’d feel from it. I’m scared of the sorrow I will cause them, if ever, on their dying day, they think about me still being on my own.

    I have prayed a lot about it, but sometimes I doubt myself, whether I have prayed right, whether I have prayed about the right things, that’s why I doubt myself more than I doubt God’s answer to my prayer. Basically, He wants to give me what I need, but I’m asking for the wrong thing, the wrong way, or there are things I do that mean I’m not ready for a husband, but I can’t identify what they are. I pray for Him to just show me, but the fact is, how do we really know when God is speaking to us?

    Those are more of my concerns and reasons for doing it, Mr. Starling. I am getting tired of trying to figure things out, that right now I just want someone to tell me what to do. I would like to hear what you think I should do, even if you just tell me I should wait no matter what, at least it is something, an assurance.

    Thank you so much for listening to my ranting.

    Here is my response:

    Dear _____,

    I never consider the questions of a searching heart as “ranting.”

    Of course I realize that all of the objections I raised to your “marriage” are subjective and that circumstances can change them. For example, older people (much older than you) sometimes marry for companionship instead of romantic love.

    While it is certainly possible that you would eventually be able to find romantic love in the arrangement you suggested and there would be no legal or moral barrier to it, I spoke of the emotional barrier each of you might feel. Having entered the relationship with the understanding there would be no intimacy, I believe it will be difficult for either of you to approach intimacy without great fear of rejection.

    I also believe you may be discounting your mother’s desire for you to have children. She may have seven grandchildren already, but none of them are yours. The same mother’s heart that wants you to know the joy she has found in her marriage will want you to know the same joy she has found in her children. You may not believe she will ask when you are going to have children; I am quite certain that she will (of course, I could be wrong about that, and you know her better than I).

    As for not knowing the right things to pray for, you are in good company. Here is a passage from the Scripture that might have some special significance to you.

    But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:25-28

    Note three things in this passage:

    1. We wait patiently for what we do not have but for which we hope.

    2. The Spirit of God helps us in our prayers when we do not know how to pray or for what to ask.

    3. God works for the good of those who love him.

    Please do not give up on yourself or on God too quickly. At age 33, you are not ready to put yourself among those who marry only for companionship (which by the way, is a deeper reason for marrying than mere convenience). A companionable marriage can develop into intimacy – if you leave that possibility open from the beginning.

    I wonder, though, if you are afraid of intimacy. Were you hurt in the relationship you say you were in five years ago? You do not think of your “ex” now, but hurts can remain buried deeply and still affect your emotions and behavior. If you are really considering a marriage of convenience (or companionship), I suggest you bare your soul to the prospective husband (if you have not already). I also suggest you share with him our correspondence. Discuss these things thoroughly, and leave room for God to work the deepening of your affection into genuine erotic love – not the love of lust (seeking only one’s own gratification), but the love God intends for husbands and wives.

    I hope these words will help give you some insights as to how you can proceed.

    By the way: you can “post” comments on my blog and remain anonymous by simply using a pseudonym for your name. Your email address will be visible only to me.

    Respectfully yours,

    Jerry Starling

  3. I received a third direct email from my anonymous correspondent:

    Dear Mr. Starling,

    Thank you for the verse, it is so often used but the focus is mostly on the latter part:, that I don’t stop and think hard about what it is trying to tell me anymore, and I overlooked the part that tells me about the help from the Spirit when I do not know what to pray for.

    And thank you for the assurance, that I should still wait, patiently. In my heart I knew that is the right thing to do, though in my frustration I just wanted to get a “quick fix”, regardless what the consequences will be.

    I noticed you emphasized one matter twice, how it will be hard to approach intimacy without great fear of rejection when people go into a marriage of convenience with the understanding there will be no intimacy. Don’t most people find it hard to refrain from adultery, knowing it is wrong? How come intimacy can be hard between two people already married? I thought it would be easy, but then maybe I just don’t know better.

    You are also right about my mother wanting me to have children. I wanted to get “married” largely for her, so I thought when I do, I will have done my job, and if she asks for children, I feel like I can use the “what more do you want me to do after what I’ve done for you?” line. But that is also not right, because she will still want to see more grandchildren from me, because I can feel that I am somewhat her favorite child, and she does it all out of love.

    My last and the only relationship I ever had ended when my ex cheated on me with another woman. We were six months away from our wedding when I found out. We did long distance for almost one year when I started sensing something was off. But I don’t really blame him, because during the 3.5 years together, we argued a lot about where we want to settle after marriage. The whole thing hurt of course, but I realized that I contributed a lot to his change of heart too, with all the arguments, how I lost my respect for him when he kept getting laid off.

    I hope I have learned a valuable lesson from this relationship, and I hope I won’t ever do it again to the next man I will be dating or marry. I don’t know how such history would have affected my behavior towards men or relationships in general, so if you detect anything Mr. Starling, please do point them out. I have actually suspected what happened has somewhat affected me, but I’m not sure in what ways. I often feel I don’t even know myself, what I want, or why I don’t want certain things. My friends now are mostly men, who have been or are still interested in me, but none of them works so far. So I don’t know what my problem really is.

    Again, thank you for letting me pour my heart out and for offering your advice.

  4. Dear ________,

    I repeated my caution against entering a marriage with a “no intimacy” understanding because I believe that would be a barrier to ever reaching intimacy even if the both of you came to desire it. It would be an emotional barrier (certainly not one that would be impossible to overcome, but still a barrier). The physical desire is easy to arouse. However, emotional hangups can still make it difficult. Think of a young teen age boy asking for his “first date.” He finds it difficult because he fears rejection. A prior “no intimacy” arrangement would arouse that same fear in each of you. It would keep you from doing what comes naturally to people in love.

    I suspected that your “ex” had cheated on you in some way. I can understand your skepticism of men because of that. Yes, it is true that many men do “cheat” on their girl friends and wives. A smaller number of women, but still many, do the same. You should not, however, judge all men by the misbehavior of the many.

    Love is always a risk. When you love, you open yourself to pain at the hand of the one you love. In fact, people you love can hurt you the most – because if there is no love for the person, you have no expectations, so you are not disappointed in their behavior. It is those whom you love that disappoint you the most. Can you imagine the disappointment God must feel over each human whom he has knit together in the womb of his or her mother? He loves and cares about each of us.

    Only a Stoic avoids such pain – but this pain is avoided by shutting one’s self off from the joy of loving. This is what your mother fears for you. Yet, you should not marry just to please her. It should be only because that is what you want for yourself with a man whom you not only admire, but with whom you wish to spend the rest of your life, whom you can love (both physically and emotionally) and cherish for as long as you both shall live.

    Will that ever happen for you? I do not know. It certainly sounds as if there are men who are interested in you. If their interest is for the right reasons, enjoy their companionship. One day, maybe, a relationship will “click” and you will know it is right. Discuss with this one the things you have discussed with me. That is one way to lay any ghosts of the past to rest. Express your hurt because of the previous man’s cheating. Explain that this has made you wary where men are concerned, but that you are coming to trust him.

    You do not need to talk about this with every man whom you meet or casually date. Wait until you become serious to discuss these things. His reaction will tell you a lot about what sort of man he is.

    Respectfully yours,

    Jerry Starling

  5. I heard from the above correspondent again on 12/15/09. Here is what she wrote:

    My “ex” did obviously cheat on me, but although initially I felt he was 100% the bad guy, later I realized it was also largely my own fault. Despite the cheating, and knowing him, I know that during the time I was physically there in the US with him, he was faithful the whole time. Every free time he had, he wanted to spend it with me. But the relationship gradually went sour with all the arguments and my loss of respect for him, I know he felt like a doormat in the end. That is why I kind of “understand” why he would be tempted to find someone new, and I was away. So even now I still don’t believe the break up has hurt me so much that I cannot trust other men.

    I have been interested in four men since, and since I tend to gravitate towards “good guys” with similar values, I do trust them and was ready to commit in a relationship with any of them, however, it was either they live far (Japan and the US, again), he was not interested, or he lives near and was interested but somehow we had too many misunderstandings that none worked. The rest would be quite a few men who are interested in me but the feeling is not mutual. And so sometimes I do question God’s will in this matter during the past 5 years: why is it that the ones I am interested in, never work, and the ones interested in me, cannot interest me enough for a relationship? With the second group, some are even decent, nice guys and there seems to be nothing wrong with them, but I cannot enter a relationship when the chemistry isn’t there. We are friends, but that is all.

    Yes, it is so true that the ones we love hurt us the most because we care about them. And I am not afraid to love again even with all the risk, I would love to be in love with someone, it is a blessing that colors our lives that even when it doesn’t work, we are still grateful for the memories. If anything can “scares” me of a relationship, it would be losing the comfort of being single and not having to think anything for two. I am a little concerned I have gotten too comfortable and not willing to give this freedom up. But a friend reminded me, it will all go out the window when I meet someone I really like/love, with whom I just cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with. He is right.

    So because nothing has worked despite having met quite a lot of men since my break up (one of them I was really in love with and I still am), I sometimes feel like if this is God testing my patience, He is still not done with it after 5 years. It’s always the same, ones I like don’t like me and the ones liking me, I don’t like, basically. Adding to that the stronger family traditions/ society’s perception of unmarried women over 30 here in Indonesia, the burden I put over myself to please my family, I thought I need to find the quickest but still the “safest”/ Christian way to solve the matter, so to speak, hence my email to you 🙂

    Please just pray for me, Mr. Starling. People in general, even one of my brothers are convinced I am being difficult/ super picky, and each time he says that I just want to shoot back. Well we’re only supposed to marry once, we HAVE to be picky. If I am allowed to change husbands when one doesn’t work, I’ll get married to one tomorrow. He believes I am aiming for a man who is up there, only of the best “breed”, when the truth is, I know I can fall in love with anyone, it just hasn’t happened yet where the feeling is mutual. I would very much like it if one of my male friends and I could fall in love now, that’s all I’m asking, but I believe it is not God’s plan yet for it to happen. So I ask you to bring me into your prayer, that I may have the patience in waiting, and wisdom to know what I should or should not do for my future. Also for more understanding from my family, because it is no good for me to be single and happy, if it is still making them sad.

    Thank you so much for your time, for reading my emails and venting out, and for all your advice and suggestions.

    Here is how I responded then:

    I will do as you ask and pray for you.

    If you had lived 1000 years ago, when marriages were “arranged” you would not have this problem. You and some young man whom your parents judged would be suitable for each other would be married – and you would have learned to love each other. Today with our “Western” ideas of romantic love, drawn mostly from Hollywood fiction, some of us are left with no clear sense of direction.

    I do not believe there is a “one and only” for any of us – until we covenant together before God to become each other’s “one and only.” Given similar values, background, and life goals I believe any healthy couple can learn to love each other and be happy. It is Hollywood that convinces us we must find only that special one without whom we will never be happy. Perhaps that is one reason people are so quick to discard one who does not “make me happy” to try another?

    May God bless you as you continue in life. Drop me a note when you have some good news to report!

  6. This correspondent wrote right back the next day:

    Yes, an arranged marriage would be the easy way into a marriage, although making it work is another story. I too don’t believe there is only one person for each of us with whom we can be happy, I have seen couples who when one of them dies and the other re-marries, he or she can still find happiness with the next person.

    It is learning to love someone like you said, that I still find difficult to do. If I could do that, I would have had at least one of my current male friends who are interested in me as a boyfriend right now. I did not necessarily fall in love with my “ex”. I reasoned that he was a decent man who met most of my criteria, so even though I was not really attracted to him, I agreed to go into a relationship with him. Throughout the years, some form of affection towards him did grow, but even now I still wonder if I had really grown to love him, because evidently, I still could not “love” him enough to want to live in the US for him, or to keep admiring and respecting him with his multiple lay-offs.

    After him, there was one man I was really, really in love with. If the term “falling head over heels” hasn’t been such a cliche, I would use it for the situation. And I could see the difference so clearly, I would do many things to be with this man including to live in Japan, the very thing I did not want to do for my ex. And the admiration I felt for him, such powerful feelings I had for him, I felt that if we were ever together, I would be a lot more tolerant towards anything unpleasant either from him, or from what life throws at us, something I had failed to do with my “ex”.

    So if right now I kind of still insist to be with someone I “love”, it is not for the Hollywood kind of “one and only” romantic love. I realize that kind of love is fictional at best, overrated, dramatized. I just want to start off better than I did last time. I feel that because I didn’t already “love” my ex from the beginning, sustaining problems in our relationship later on became a lot harder to do. I was hoping the feeling would grow, but it probably didn’t grow as well as it should and it wasn’t strong enough to hold us together. But at the same time, I KNOW learning to love someone given similar life goals, values, etc is doable. I just don’t know how to do it, or if I’m willing to try the same situation one more time.

    Thank you for your prayers for me 🙂 I will surely write you when I do have some good news!!

  7. On 2/10/10, she wrote again with “good news”

    I am writing you now using the reply from our last emails, so you may refer back to our “conversation”, to put into perspective, the miracle that has happened to me 🙂 The last email dated Dec 15, some 10 days later a miracle happened.

    I am now in a relationship with a man I love, respect, admire, and don’t think twice to spend the rest of my life with. He is actually one of the men I mentioned in my previous email, the one who “was interested at the beginning but we had misunderstandings that it didn’t work”. I have known him for 2.5 years, and have always been interested in him, but he had a girlfriend then, and even after they broke up, he didn’t see me as anything more than a friend.

    But on Christmas eve, he invited me to join the Christmas service at his church the next morning. Little did I know, that same night, my mother was praying more intently than usual, for me to find my future husband. Long story short, I went to his church for Christmas, but didn’t hope much for him to “change” the way he sees me, I thought we’d just continue as friends. But something happened then, as he told me much later on, that after Dec 25th and I went back to my hometown, he started missing me. Come January, he invited me to join his cell group, from then on we started dating intensively, and made it official on Jan 21st.

    It sure seemed fast to people who didn’t know our story, even he didn’t understand what came over him. He said he sees me in a different light now, he doesn’t understand why he always just took me as an ordinary friend before. He was ready to stay single for 4 more years if he had to, wanted to focus on the work at his church, has been set up by his mentor at church too with a girl, and has several others liking him, too. He was not really looking for a girlfriend, so he believes God has opened his eyes.

    I believe it had a lot to do with my mom’s heartfelt prayer that night, and now I know many others have prayed for me, too, including an uncle, an aunt, and of course, you 🙂 It’s so unreal now, when I read what I wrote to you last December, how defeated I sounded, how hopeless. And now I have a man who fears God, the one I can enjoy romantic love with, one who doesn’t even want to kiss me as we agree to wait till we marry, one who can guide me closer to God. We are signing up for the pre-marital class soon, Mr. Starling, and hope to get married end of this year, or early next, God willing.

    I still cannot believe it, the past 5 years I’ve been waiting, and in the mean time was little by little convinced that I shouldn’t get married because I haven’t found any man I truly want to marry. And here he is. He too have been through quite a lot, he let his previous girlfriend go because his parents disapprove for many reasons. Well I have met his parents 3 times so far and they love me. Taking many things into consideration, we are smooth-sailing, and it is the Lord that made it all possible, we believe it whole-heartedly.

    Thank you for your prayers, Mr. Starling. I promised I would write you when I have good news 🙂

    I was happy to respond congratulating her.

    I am happy for you and wish for you the happiness that I have found in my marriage. I hope that you will be able to say to your future husband what my wife said to me in a birthday card this morning, which happens to be my 70th birthday:

    The Most Special Man in All the World to Me

    “A good man is hard to find” –
    a timeworn phrase, but true –
    That’s why I feel so fortunate
    the man I found was you,
    For you have all the qualities
    that set a man apart,
    Qualities that I’ve admired
    since I gave you my heart –
    Honesty and kindness
    and generosity –
    The way you go beyond mere words
    to show your love for me…

    The days you make me grateful
    with your friendship and you laughter,
    The nights you make me sure
    I’ve found my “happily-ever-after…”

    I must have said a prayer one night
    to our all-knowing God
    To find the perfect man for me
    because that’s what He sent.

    Again, congratulations and best wishes!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: