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QUESTION: Is It OK for a Married Couple to Have Anal Sex?

We are from India. My husband initiated “anal sex” with me. We fear the Lord and do not want to commit sin. Let me know, if to have anal sex with husband is sin in sight of God. What does the Bible say about this? We rarely watch adult movie. Kindly help us by providing spiritual guidance.

This is a sensitive area where not a lot is written in Christian circles. Another name for anal sex is sodomy. This is from the homosexual behavior of the men of Sodom (See Genesis Chapter 19:4-5), though the Bible does not spell out the particulars of exactly how the men of Sodom proposed to have sex with Lot’s visitors.

However, you are not asking about homosexual acts, but the act of love between a husband and wife. You do not say, but I infer that the idea of this particular activity came from the adult movies you sometimes watch. These “adult” movies are falsely called adult. They are really very immature entertainment unsuitable for godly eyes. See Ephesians  5:11-14, which says:

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why is is said: “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

The so called “adult movies” give a false picture of true love. They put everything on a physical plane where nothing but sexual passion is given any value. This is a poor place to get sexual instruction for a Christian couple. The Old Testament book, The Song of Solomon, is a far better manual for how to enjoy the delights of the marriage bed!

I also gather from the nature of your question that you are not comfortable with this activity. If you are, in fact, uncomfortable, a considerate husbandwould want to take that into account and avoid something that is distasteful to you. This, to me, seems to be at least some of what is taught in 1 Peter 3:7, which says:

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

But if you are both comfortable with the activity, is it still sinful? I know of nothing in the Bible that would directly say it is, and I very much believe we need to be very careful in condemning something God has not condemned.

There are, however, some other considerations as well. This is not a natural act. That is, the anus is not designed to be a sexual organ. It does not have the lubrication or the elasticity that the female sex organ provides to receive the male. In the absence of lubrication and natural elasticity of the female organ, it is easy to injure it when used for a purpose for which God has not designed it. In fact, many researchers believe this is one reason homosexual men are more likely to be infected by the AIDS virus. For this reason, I would recommend against this, but I cannot speak with the authority of Scripture in making this recommendation.

I can speak with Scriptural authority to say that it should not be done unless both of you are comfortable with it. The fact you are asking the question suggests to me you are not fully satisfied in your own mind that this is appropriate.

Here, Paul’s admonition about another subject (whether to eat or not to eat certain foods) has an application. In Romans Chapter 14, verse 14 he said, “I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean.

I wish I could be more definitive in my answer – but in the absence of clear, specific Biblical teaching I can only speak of general principles. I hope this will be helpful to you


2 Responses

  1. It’s my desire that other people get to know about it!

    • Charles, I don’t know if you want people to “know about” anal sex or about my response to the question.

      If it’s the first, I wonder why you are wanting people to “know” about such a sensitive, personal, and potentially dangerous practice? What does it matter to you if a person whom you do not even know knows about this practice – unless you are a sodomite who wants more people to at least be curious about this practice so you will have more potential partners.

      If that is the case, it appears to me you are wanting to increase the depravity of the world by engaging in a promiscuous life-style in a way that my Lord definitely frowns on. I feel sorry for you if you find your meaning for life in a practice that is so potentially dangerous as anal sex.

      Jerry Starling

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